Wednesday, September 17, 2008

#8 My Friend Joe

My friend Joe is one of the least underground people I know. He's got some qualities that make him cool, but in general he's the guy you see wearing Teva sandals with socks and jean shorts. My grandma is more underground than Joe and she doesn't even speak English. Then again she's about four and a half feet tall we all know that being short is underground.

So how is this relevant? Well, its simple. The fact that Joe is so mainstream makes the rest of our friends more underground, because having mainstream friends is an essential part of being cool. He sells insurance, and that's boring. He like's to iron, and that's lame. Having Joe around gives me and my other underground friends plenty to complain about whenever we hang out.

There are some things that make Joe slightly hip. He's from Gresham, which was voted Portland's #3 most underground place to be from. He also gets most of his clothes from Value Village, which officially makes them vintage. He loves Pabst and whiskey, which are both underground.

Joe also tries to be more hip by hanging out with underground people, and that's respectable. One thing that he must realize though is that it's okay have friends that dress like pirates, grow mustaches, ride fixy bikes, and work in big pink buildings downtown. But that alone will not make you look like a pirate, it won't turn your beach cruiser into a fixy, and it will definitely not help you grow any facial hair.

Thanks for the ticket Joe.


Mary French said...

does joe doing beer bongs in the street make him MORE underground or LESS underground?

Pretty Underground said...

was the street in southeast? If it was then MORE underground.

Lydia said...

Shoot! I always thought I was dating an hip underground dude......time to find a new boyfriend ;)