Saturday, April 18, 2009

#16 The L Train

I've never been to New York. The furthest furthest east I've ever been in the United States is Gresham.  And still I know that the L Train is underground.

This is the train that takes you from Brooklyn to Manhattan.  Which means that all of the hip people from Williamsburg are taking this train into the city to buy hot dogs and make fun of tourists in Times Square.  Even if this is totally wrong it doesn't matter because it's underground to sound like you know what you're talking about even though have no clue.

In Portland we have the Max, which isn't underground.  It does go to Gresham though so maybe its a little bit underground.  Then we have the Streetcar, which is definitely not underground.  It runs from 23rd, through the Pearl District, and down to the South Waterfront.  Really streetcar, really?  I haven't been on a less-underground ride since my parents made ride It's A Small World like 8 times at Disneyland in 1992.  

For great pictures from the L Train and other painfully hip Brooklyn crap, check out this site.

#15 Scarves

Scarves are underground because they are mysterious, ironic, and subversive.  A scarf is a way of saying "hey look at my neck, by don't look at my neck.  Okay but seriously look at my neck because I just got a sweet scarf."

The most underground kind of scarves are the kind that come from the middle east. Those are great because they start conversations. If you wear one of those then people will ask you "oh wow, have you been to Israel?"  That's when you'll respond with "no, I just got back from Brooklyn, and they sell these everywhere..."

So I read somewhere that these scarves are originally used so that when you're in the dessert you can keep sand from blowing into your eyes.  Well now that you live in Portland you can use them to keep street grit out of your eyes as you ride down Burnside on your fixie.