Wednesday, September 10, 2008

#5 Hand Rolled Cigarettes

The only thing more mainstream than buying your smokes off the shelf is not smoking. Rolled cigs don't have filters, so there's nothing between you and the natural flavor. Don't be fooled if you think filters make a cigarette more healthy--they don't. They're filled with all sorts of mainstream and other stuff that will make you soft. Rolling your own is not only a cheaper alternative, but its also good for the environment. Its like killing two birds with one stone. Even though its usually more hip to kill two birds with two stones, just to be underground.

When someone tries to bum a cigarette, you just pull out your zig zag and ask, "can you roll?" Trust me, they'll look like an idiot and you'll save yourself from having to share the organic tobacco you bought at Rich's cigar shop. Rich's cigar shop is underground.

If you think you're ready to get out there and roll, you're dead wrong. Don't roll in public until you can do it in the dark, because you may have to. You want your cigarette to complement your body shape, so keep them rolled thin. Rolled cigarettes can make almost any activity more underground. Riding your fixy: underground. Riding while rolling: hella underground. And nothing complements a 16 ounce PBR like a rollie.

Like many other underground things, rolling is old school. You may be able to score some papers from your grandpa, and smoking with old people is more underground than you might think. But careful, because being old is not underground.

1 comment:

jvandub said...

You forgot about my preferred method of using a rolling machine. Sub-underground...