Sunday, October 26, 2008

#14 Tattoos

If you don't have a tattoo, you shouldn't even be reading this blog. Please visit this website. Tattoos are so underground that I haven't blogged for almost three weeks because I've been thinking of all the reasons why they are so underground, and there's millions.

Anything that makes you cool or hip that's permanent is awesome, and that's why tattoos top the list. For example, black-rimmed glasses might make you look cool, but you can always get corrective eye surgery if want to. If you ever get eye surgery that makes your eyesight worse so that you have to wear glasses permanently, let me know because that's really underground.

The best kind of tattoos are the ones that you get when you're either drunk or because of a bet. Those are instant stories. Tattoos that you design yourself are stupid, unless you're really un-artistic, then its hilarious. Tattoos that talk about your significant other are over-done, unless they're on your upper thigh and they're based on a napkin sketch that you did in a San Diego bar when you were celebrating you're brother-in-law's culinary-school graduation, then its legendary.

If you want to be underground, never get tattoos of the following things: barbed wire, flowers, happy faces, ferries, smurfs, asian charaters for "strength" and/or "pride." DO get tattoos of the following: your home state, farm animals, bikes, skulls, bones, eagles, stars, asian characters for "egg roll" and/or "wonton."

One thing that's really starting to piss me off is that all these frat boys all over the country are getting little handlebar mustaches tattooed on their fingers, thiking its funny when they put their pointer finger above their upper lip. "Good job Rico, it looks just like a real mustache, you're so underground!" But when Fox News reports on this tattoo craze then you know its officially gone mainstream. And that little tat isn't coming off any time soon. Well guess what? I'm saving myself the 50 bucks by trying to grow a REAL mustache on my index finger, and its actaully coming in pretty good. Now that's underground.

3 comments:

Felipe said...

i'm going to get a tattoo of an eggroll racing a won town on a fixed gear, both having moustaches.. then tell the story of it in chinese writing. with a pirate ship a skull and an outline of oregon.

Anonymous said...

Damn. I was going to get a tattoo of the ferry in Gig Harbor, WA. Good memories. But not so underground.

Thanks for the heads up.

Vinh said...

Wow, never heard of this mustache tattoo trend before, very interesting. Not very surprise that frat boys would be the ones that are getting it. Great Blog btw!