Saturday, April 18, 2009
#16 The L Train
#15 Scarves
Sunday, October 26, 2008
#14 Tattoos
Anything that makes you cool or hip that's permanent is awesome, and that's why tattoos top the list. For example, black-rimmed glasses might make you look cool, but you can always get corrective eye surgery if want to. If you ever get eye surgery that makes your eyesight worse so that you have to wear glasses permanently, let me know because that's really underground.
The best kind of tattoos are the ones that you get when you're either drunk or because of a bet. Those are instant stories. Tattoos that you design yourself are stupid, unless you're really un-artistic, then its hilarious. Tattoos that talk about your significant other are over-done, unless they're on your upper thigh and they're based on a napkin sketch that you did in a San Diego bar when you were celebrating you're brother-in-law's culinary-school graduation, then its legendary.
If you want to be underground, never get tattoos of the following things: barbed wire, flowers, happy faces, ferries, smurfs, asian charaters for "strength" and/or "pride." DO get tattoos of the following: your home state, farm animals, bikes, skulls, bones, eagles, stars, asian characters for "egg roll" and/or "wonton."
One thing that's really starting to piss me off is that all these frat boys all over the country are getting little handlebar mustaches tattooed on their fingers, thiking its funny when they put their pointer finger above their upper lip. "Good job Rico, it looks just like a real mustache, you're so underground!" But when Fox News reports on this tattoo craze then you know its officially gone mainstream. And that little tat isn't coming off any time soon. Well guess what? I'm saving myself the 50 bucks by trying to grow a REAL mustache on my index finger, and its actaully coming in pretty good. Now that's underground.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
#13 My Friend Brian
#12 Breakfast
Monday, September 29, 2008
#11 Vice Presidents
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
#10 Bike Messengers
A bike messenger needs to be able to carry and deliver anything in their bag, and I mean anything. Drawings, boxes, computers, even dogs. If people need to send it across town, they'll be looking at you.
So if you do have what it takes to become a messenger then there are certain rules that you have to live by. Always keep random pieces of paper in your back spokes. Drink coffee at least three times a day at Portland Coffee House on Alder and Broadway. Never turn your walkie talkie volume down when you walk into an office. Eat lunch sitting against a blank wall in front of the US Bancorp tower where you can make fun of people in suits. Always make fun of people in suits. Get an ironic tattoo. Talk about how everyone has fixies now and you're thinking about getting a mountain bike. If you can do that, then I have a cute little cocker spaniel I need sent across town by 5:30.